RICHMOND, VA (WWBT) - Amanda Rogers' time in recovery has been spent thinking a lot about cause and effect and the consequence of using heroin again.
- NBC12 Special Report: Hooked on Heroin
"You have to, they say, play the tape out," said Rogers. "If I think about using, I have to immediately think about the effects, what's going to happen? First, I might die because I already did. I'm going to go back to jail. Then you play that tape out and say, 'That's stupid. Why would I do that?'"
Rogers calls it "playing the tape out," a motto her sponsor has taught and one Rogers repeats daily while battling her addiction at the McShin Foundation.
The 31-year-old is on day 25 of her recovery. She survived a near-fatal heroin overdose last month.
Since then, Rogers has been attending daily 12-step meetings, living in a sober home and leaning on her sponsor.
"She's been getting on me. She wants me to slow down the driving and stuff, and stay at McShin more for groups, which I get, because I did that a lot last time," said Rogers.
Relapse is part of Rogers' story.
Rogers initially entered treatment in September. Currently, she has gone three weeks without using, but she had to learn to live life moment-by-moment and says for many recovering addicts, planning too far ahead can become overwhelming.
"This will be my third time picking up a 30-day tag, so really it's just another day for me. I really can't try to think about it too much as some big accomplishment or big milestone. I have to live for today and just for today," Rogers said.
It's those types of feelings that Rogers is also trying to work on managing in a healthy way while at McShin. In the past, she used to reach for drugs to cope.
"Once you have that thought of using, man, it's just really easy to take over your brain. You really have to train yourself to play that tape out," said Rogers. "That's one thing I'm really working on, is dealing with life. Life doesn't go away. Stuff still happens to everybody, and I have to learn to deal with that the right way. I'm really proud of that."
For more information on the McShin Foundation, call (804) 249-1845.
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